Motherlaterhood part I

About two years ago today, I journalled this entry:

Today, Baby Kim from Kansas, you are 9 weeks along according to sonogram.  I found out you existed on 08/10/2010.  I had to wait about 20 hours to tell your daddy about this face-to-face since I was in Kansas City at the time.  Your daddy is excited.  Even though I am sometimes a little irritable (ask Daddy), knowing you are here has lifted my mood immensely.  I love you so much already!  Yes, you will change our lives!  You will change our priorities.  You will make us grow and experience uncomfortable situations.  You will bring love in our lives that we have never known before.  I am happy to be experiencing this with you and Daddy.  Because of you, my life is better already.  I am dreaming of the day when you come out and Daddy and I teach you "the happy dance".  I do want time to take its course and have you come out healthy while we will be preparing for your arrival.  

I know that you will have "older parents" than some of your friends.  I do feel that your daddy and I are...

And then I got interrupted.  I'm not sure what I was going to write next.  I was 40 years old.  Yes, I had my first child one week after turning age 41.  In medical terms it's called advanced maternal age.

My mom would be thrilled we finally had a child if she were on earth!  She would think it was so funny that we waited so long since I used to complain that I had the oldest parents in my class at school.  She was 36 when she had me.  For being the unplanned child, I'm amazed that my family always made me feel like I was a blessing.

I hope my son feels that way, too!  He wasn't unplanned, just late.  I will tell him about his grandparents.  I will tell him how much their absence has impacted my life.  I will tell him how he helped fill some of the absence, but that's not the reason he is here on earth.  He is here to make the world a better place.  He has made my world a better place!

Postpartum pottery

Monarch caterpillar

This caterpillar has 6 antennae instead of 4.  I'm interested to see if it continues with 6 as it goes to the next instar level.  

I'm going to try to push mesh around the milkweed plants when I see a monarch caterpillar to keep bugs and wasps from eating it. 

An American Lady.

A couple of Checkerspots.

This butterfly migrated to my leg while taking pictures.

Addendum (06/04/2012):  The above caterpillar is unable to be located, as the rubber band broke around the mesh.  I will hurry up and press the "publish" button before I change my mind.

Where I'm at

I started this blog to share things about life and my creative endeavors, reminding myself that I have a unique perspective of the way I view the world.   I feel it's also a way to "put myself out there in the world" even though I'm not a talented artist.  I feel a need to create, be it arts or crafts.

Before becoming a mother, I had a lot of time to dedicate myself to pottery.  I have been able to throw in the past 11 months, but never know when I can come back so have to make things in one sitting.  Sometimes I can't get back to the studio for a month.  My mind also feels so full of other things that it's hard to focus on what I want to accomplish.  I love touching the clay.  I love the feel of it running through my fingers while the wheel is spinning.  Heck, I even see wedging as a form of meditation and centering.  But lately I have left the studio feeling disappointed.  The voice inside my head asks me "Does the world really need another crappy piece of pottery from me?" or "I've been throwing for five years and this is the best I can do?".  I know I won't quit.  I'm just in a rut.  I have no great ideas and not enough time to try different techniques.   My mind is on overload.  Didn't I used to call this my "circular therapy" before?

 Last Sunday I got the chance to go on a little photo walk by myself.  It was nice change of pace to be able to take pictures of things that didn't stay still unless they were asleep.  Sure, the pictures won't win any contests, but this is my view of the world at one moment in time.  It's amazing to think if someone else took these pictures, they wouldn't come out exactly the same.  That's the reason I'm going to hit the publish button instead of the delete button. 

To Mushka

You became part of our family on St. Patrick’s Day. We met you at the park in Sedgwick. You came from a litter of at least four others and had the curliest tail and were the most gregarious out of all your siblings. The breeder named you Snuggles I, as stated on the receipt when we bought you. We changed your name to something less cutesy, as there were enough names like Snowball in your lineage. Did you know your name means beauty mark in Russian? We didn’t either when we named you that. We just liked the sound of it.

Before we had you, I thought it was a little funny to hear pet owners refer to themselves as Mommy and Daddy, never thinking I'd be one of "those people". But I never had a pet as special as you and it just fit. Especially since you were our "child" before our child, for 15 years our only "baby".  Our moms even called you "grand-dogger".  You taught me that I would need to be tougher and not give in and spoil our children, if and when we had any.   

We started out feeding you only dog food, but somehow when one of us started giving you people food the other gave in as well. Animal crackers, baby carrots, and Daddy's french fries--oh my! Of course you loved meat, but oh how you would go crazy when I would fix a turkey breast! Like it was catnip for dogs!

Do you remember when we used to run together? You ran 5 miles with me once! And remember running at the park with Grandma and me? How you took a dip in the lake halfway around? You loved to chase geese and squirrels and especially bunnies! Thank you for never actually catching them; although, you did catch baby mice. Whenever we were out walking or running at the parks, people would comment on how pretty you were and ask what kind of dog you were. You sure hated anything with wheels that would pass us by and especially bark at the rollerbladers.

Of course, we had to give all of your toys silly names--Pistachio Man, Chocolate Bunny, Aslan, Super-Carrot, Magilla Gorilla, Booda, Burpee Boy, tennis balls, Mushiball, chewies, rubber duckies, of course "Baby". Daddy even put up cardboard stops around the couch and loveseat so Mushiball wouldn't roll under them and you could keep playing.

What a great co-worker you were! You made my work day much shorter. You came to remind me when I hadn't gotten up in awhile and it was time to take our break together.

Forgiveness seemed to come natural to you. When we stepped on you or had to discipline, you wouldn't hold a grudge.

You were my comfort three years ago during the hardest year of my life, grieving the loss of my mother (the closest bond I had ever known) and the physical distance of the other most important person in my life, your daddy. While missing the two people whom I loved and who loved me the most, you were there. Thank you for greeting me happily so I didn't have to come home to an empty house.

You left us the day after your least favorite day of the year, the Fourth of July. You hated fireworks. Sorry you had to spend your last night so sick and having to tolerate them.

It was a wonderful 15 years having you as a companion. I knew it couldn’t last forever. Yes, you were just a dog, but made our lives so much better. You were only in our son's life for three short months, and I hope someday he has a dog as special as you. 

January post

We were blessed with a couple of wonderful days reaching 70 degrees here in Kansas in January, so I took advantage and went on a photo walk. I still love taking pictures, it's just the eye strain and computer work entailed that isn't so fun. Of course, this spring I will have a new subject for picture-taking, our baby boy!

Here are some pottery pieces I took home this month. I have a couple of big pieces that I am waiting to glaze in case it gets too uncomfortable to throw on the wheel further along in the pregnancy. I have been having some upper back pain and didn't go to pottery as much as I wanted to this week. Hopefully it won't become a bigger problem.






The blates or bowls/plates are supposed to be for cheese balls, a block of cream cheese with jalepeno jelly, or appetizers. It was fun to play with the edges and not try to make them a set by being as uniform as possible. I have more in various stages unfinished.

I glazed this praying mantis bowl over the Christmas break, having to paint three coats of glaze on for each color. It's 15-1/2 inches in diameter. A glaze pencil is used for the wording and outlining the squares.

Hope winter is treating you well!

Happy Holidays!

Here's a slideshow of the berry bowls I made for Christmas. What are berry bowls? They are used to wash and store berries, grapes, cherry tomatoes, or whatever else you can think up. They're handier than getting that big colander out of the cupboard and the perfect size for one or two servings of berries.

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and wishing you a happy and safe holiday season!

November post

It's the last day of November and I haven't had a post this month yet? Guess I've been a little busy in between all of my naps. What's been going on besides napping and making Christmas presents?

Well, I got to meet my favorite ceramic artist, Kristen Kieffer, at her workshop at K-State earlier in the month. Below are some pictures from it. Beautiful work!!!






















Also got to stop by the insect zoo. They do have live bugs there, too.

And here is a vase I brought home awhile ago.

And here are some I brought home just last night.






Okay, I think I'll go nap now. Bye!

A post for non-FBers

Most of these pictures are posted on Facebook, so this is for my family not on there.

We went to Dallas a couple of weeks ago and got to go to the JFK Museum, hence the first picture. (You may click on the picture to make it bigger.)

Found this praying mantis last weekend. Have only found green ones in my yard before, so it was nice to see a brown one.

These last pictures are especially for my mother-in-law. We found this on our front porch. It's a wolf spider with babies on its back. Enjoy, Mom!

More pieces

Was going to add more to this post, but decided I probably wouldn't get to it this weekened and just do pottery on this one. Thanks for checking in!